Everyday is a gift

December 6, 2015 § Leave a comment

Our family seems to live with perpetual stress. Not just the regular day to day stress of raising a family working and going to grad school full time, we also are rasing a daughter with significant needs and living with a parent who has stage 4 cancer.  

Honestly, we are used to the stress of the disability and the cancer even with all the bumps in the road that both bring.  But two weeks ago we didn’t just have a bump in the road, we hit a sink hole! A big sink hole I thought we would never get out of. We almost lost my mom from complications with Chemotherapy.

We are not niaeve we know what cancer, especially stage 4, means but this just happened so quickly and so unexpectedly it blew our minds.

I am an only child and my parents put a beautiful in-law addition on our house shortly after my moms diagnosis. Living all together under one roof has been a dream.  We have all spent so many happy days together. Our favorite time is sitting on the screen porch watching the world go by and talking for hours until the fire flies come out.

My dad and I supported each other and my mom through this horrible time two weeks ago. Watching his love for her is ingrained in my brain forever – it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

But as it turns out my mom is strong, tough and resilient!  She made it through and is home with us.  We have two weeks before she starts her new chemo, right before Christmas.  I admit I was selfishly disappointed at first. I was mad that I didn’t get to celebrate Thanksgiving the way I wanted to with my mother and now potentially Christmas would be ruined by the Chemo treatment too.  Until I just STOPPED, until I remembered  those dark few days in the hospital when I pleaded with God not to let my mother suffer and to just let me see her smile again.  And that’s what made me stop.  I just realized I got what I asked for, God answers my prayers – I can’t waste it always wanting more! I have to enjoy every minute, hold her hand, soak in her smile and laugh with her as much as possible. And the more I think about it I know how important the everyday is – not just the holidays but all the regular ol days in between – those are the days that are magical. 

I am feeling blessed and hopeful this Christmas. I am grateful for my faith and my family. 

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