Prepping to play Chess
May 19, 2015 § Leave a comment
Next week we have our daughter’s annual IEP meeting.
This is our first meeting in a new building where they will be generating goals for my daughter.
Her current IEP is from her previous school.
I have such a process now of prepping. It’s mostly internal and I am guessing the night before I will get it all down on paper once it’s sorted in my head.
My process combines thoughts about what I thought was good about the year and what I thought was not.
It also becomes a “multi-player” game as I also try to anticipate exactly what the school team will say about the same issues and figure out how apart we are on each idea. I have been in countless IEP meeting over the years. I would say 10-20 on a typical year and situations that have occurred replay like movies in my head, perfectly stored for when they are needed. This entire process I often equate to “trying to play chess alone”. You have to constantly figure out what you want to do but then switch sides and figure out what the response to your move will be.
Yes, It’s crazy making for sure.
Last year I spent countless hours prepping, worked with a professional who came to the meeting (not an advocate just a really educated person and expert in my daughters rare disability who was able to keep things positive). Last year I paid this same person to meet with the teachers at my expense (without my presence) to know she was available to help my daughter and give them the freedom to address whatever they wanted without the pressure of me being in the room. I also with the help of the Williams Syndrome Association organized a professional conference for teachers/therapist in the district and surrounding towns. Through all of this the team should have really gotten an understanding of my daughter’s learning profile and how to handle it.
But they didn’t – it was all for nothing.
One year later and I am still begging for her work to be accommodated and modified.
So does prepping make a difference? I am not sure. I worked so hard last year to not be adversary. I worked so hard so I didn’t have to “fight” later.
This year, I am prepping in a much different way. I simply don’t have the money to spend that I did last year. I am also entering which was once a hopeful situation as a disappointed parent. and that changes everything.
It puts me in a crappy position. I am walking though the door praying things will be great but knowing I am about to play chess for real. It truly puts me in a reactive position.
Maybe they will read this? Maybe they will act proactively and think about what should have been and what was. Maybe they will do what’s right and admit they screwed up. Maybe they will make things right moving forward.
A girl can hope can’t she?
In the mean time I prepare. I visualize, I read and I anticipate.