May 21, 2014 § 5 Comments

It’s hard you know talking about the future when your child has a disability. It’s hard to even think about it. It’s complicated, painful and you have to muster up all your hope and faith. You have to trust the world and plan for good things to come but prepare for the bad things as well.

Developing an IEP during a transition year brings a lot up of emotion. It’s amazing how I can only deal with it on a moment to moment basis. It’s too much to think about or talk about in one conversation – it’s too big – how do you project the future and prepare for what may or may not be in advance? Today on my way to an appointment to discuss such things I came across an unfortunate situation – I got stuck in traffic and I was alone. I was alone with my thoughts – my mind was already swirling with preparation questions I was asked to consider in advance – hopes, dreams, fears, concerns, etc. I had already written down my answers in advance – it’s easier for me to write – it’s less emotional I think because when I write I don’t have to say it all out loud and it seems less “real”. But, there I was trapped with myself -and my thoughts, then the flood gates opened – what the hell was wrong with me? Where was this coming from? Why was I crying? Crap now I’m crying writing about crying – maybe writing isn’t less emotional!

It’s because it’s all so hard – we don’t do this for our typical kids – we don’t plan every last detail – we wouldn’t. But for our kids with needs we must be fortune tellers, advocates and mothers all at once – some days that is too much.

Teachers – when you sit in IEP meetings and listen to a parents concerns and vision – respect it! It is a heavy task to produce a vision for the future for another person – especially when none of us really know what tomorrow may bring.

§ 5 Responses to Vision

  • olivedavis says:

    You cry Michelle. You have a job most people cannot even imagine the strength you need for. You HAVE to plan for another life, a life that completely depends on those who love her. Mainly you. I know how you feel. It feels like sometimes I have to change the world (on my own) to keep a space and a place for my daughter. Of course that is being dramatic but it is so damn real too. Sometimes I find the future too scary to think about for my daughter. We have to plant seeds to change the thoughts and actions of the human race. Humanity is not always welcoming of change. Its seems we are not permitted to just have a normal -worry about your family and yourself- life. We have to take on the world. We have to learn a whole lot that most people don’t have to learn or think about, and fast…our kids lives depend on our ability to be versatile and accepting of many things and situations we just cannot change. You are right…it is a heavy task. You will be fine. I know you will because you have to be. I live one day at a time. It is too much to think about it all. I do what I can for my daughter when I can and I am exhausted but I will never stop. Nor will you. Hugs from one mom to another. ❤

    • Successful Exceptional Education (SEE) says:

      Thank you Olive❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • Iris Vigoa says:

      Ojala que alguien pueda traducir esto al Ingles, porque no quiero quedarme sin palabras para expresarle a Michelle lo que me inspira su post de hoy.
      Creo que es muy duro enfrentar todo lo diferente que trae un hijo con necesidades especiales y las reuniones del IEP son especialmente fuertes, porque sabes que es un tema sumamente importante para cualquier persona: la educacion; de lo cual en gran medida depende el futuro de nuestros hijos. ADemas el IEP es como el arma para salir a pelear por ellos en ese campo, por eso cuanto mas eficiente sea mejor para nuestros hijos.
      Yo encuentro que las reuniones del IEP son reuniones en que los padres deberiamos ir como que armados de valor, de fe, de esperanza, de apoyo emocional, de tecnica y de coraje. Por eso Michelle te aconsejo que no vayas sola, buscate un partner, alguien que conozca a tu hija, que sepa de sus fortalezas, que te pueda hacer el coro y a veces la primera voz, que se alterne contigo en esta defensa que es un gran reto. EN el IEP ellos son siempre mas de 4, entre el representante de la region, los maestros, la consejera, suman por tanto tenemos que sumar nosotros tambien.
      Yo siento que cada vez que mis emociones de frustracion, de tristeza o de desesperanza me salen pierdo la capacidad de analisis, de respuesta y de defensa para mi hija. Por eso creo que tenemos que desarrollar el sentido del autocontrol y vaciar el lagrimal antes de llegar alli (me alegro que hayas llorado sola en el carro), para estar mejor preparadas a los desafios que nos ponen aquellos que no tienen esperanza para nuestros hijos, ni ponen ganas de empujarlos, ni ponen empeno, ni ponen luz.
      En mi camino con el IEP he visto opiniones de compasion que no comparto, posiciones de indiferencia, de limitacion, de bloqueo y pocas de optimismo, de creacion, y de fe. No quiero cambiar el mundo porque se que no puedo, pero estamos llamados a cambiar el sendero por donde van nuestros hijos que por demas necesitan el apoyo de muchos que nos toca a nosotros alistarlos para que cumplan su deber.
      Creo que eres una gran madre y que cada vez seras mejor defensora de tu hija!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • olivedavis says:

    I hope that someone can translate this into English, because I don’t want to stay without words to express Michelle what inspires me your post today.
    I think it is very hard to face the different bringing a child with special needs and IEP meetings are especially strong, because you know that it is an extremely important subject for anyone: education; of which largely depends on the future of our children. The IEP is as the weapon to go out and fight for them in that field, so how much more efficient is best for our children.
    I find that the IEP meetings are meetings in which parents should go as armed value, of faith, of hope, of emotional support, technical and of courage. Why Michelle I advise that you go not alone, find a partner, someone who knows your daughter, who know their strengths, that you can get the choir and sometimes the first vocals, which alternate with you in this defense which is a great challenge. IN the IEP they are always more than 4, between the representative of the region, teachers, counselor, adding therefore have to join us also.
    I feel that everytime I leave my emotions of frustration, sadness or hopelessness I lose the capacity for analysis, response and Defense for my daughter. So I think that we have to develop the sense of self-control and empty tear before coming there (I’m glad that you’ve cried alone in the car), to be better prepared to the challenges that put us those who have no hope for our children, nor put desire to push them, nor put effort put light.
    On my way with the IEP I’ve seen opinions of compassion that do not agree with, positions of indifference, limitation, blocking and few of optimism, creation, and faith. I don’t want to change the world because is that I can’t, but we are called to change the path where are our children needing the support of many who turn to join them so that they fulfil their duty by others.
    I think you’re a great mother and every time you will be better of your daughter

  • olivedavis says:

    Translation by bing above.

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