Top 10

April 2, 2014 § 3 Comments

Top ten things I have become as a parent to a child with special needs – although I think every parent will have pretty much the same list. It’s not that I didn’t have these qualities before but I have experienced them all now on a deeper level.

1. Guilty – I always feel guilty. I am always feeling like I should be doing more. I should be working harder. I should be spending more time with my son. I should be spending more time playing with my daughter. I should be doing more for my parents. I should be spending more time at work. I should be spending more time with my husband. These are closely followed by the “I should haves …. all the things I should have done in the past.

2. Exhausted – and guilty for feeling exhausted.

3. Smarter – I know much more now about the field I work in with a better perspective as a mom. I also think at this point I probably should have earned some sort of degree in medicine.

4. Assertive. – I have become a much more vocal person since having my daughter. I have had to be her voice for a very long time. I am not afraid to speak up or ask questions to anyone.

5. Accepting – I have always been an accepting person but never to the degree I am now. I get it – I see through her eyes what it is like to feel different. I now see different as beauty, genuine uniqueness.

6. A better teacher – I’m every way.

7. Open – one of the mottos my husband and I have developed in our life is “everyone’s got shit” – (sorry for the swear). But it’s true – everyone has something they are carrying around and by being open about our “stuff” we give other the chance to do the same.

8. Empathetic – I can feel what others are going through more now than ever having experienced so much myself.

9. Present – I try really hard to stop and listen with my family. I am not perfect by any stretch. But when my son comes around the corner with a huge smile on his face, I take a minute to soak in that smile or when my daughter tells me a story about a funny thing from school I giggle along with her a little more. Life is fragile – I know that – I don’t want to waste it.

10. Grateful – I am grateful for all the wonderful people in our lives, I am grateful for the blessings they bring to us and others around us. I am grateful the joyful small moments and the exhilarating big ones. My life is blessed BECAUSE of this special journey not in spite of it.

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§ 3 Responses to Top 10

  • Olive davis says:

    Michelle you write everything I wanted to write and couldn’t or wouldn’t. I’m sure you speak for many of us. I’m grateful that you share what you write for it is sharing my thoughts and feelings, or that is how it seems. If you are helping me ( which you are), I’m sure you are helping many who are in the same boat. Because of you I don’t feel so alone and isolated. Thank you.

  • Maria says:

    Ditto what Olive said!! Thank you Michelle. ❤️

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