March 27, 2014 § 1 Comment

My child has been in public school special education since she was 3 years old. She is now 10. This means we have been dealing with public school special education for 7 years. We will continue dealing with it for at least another 7 years, possibly longer.

Certain days, as I’ve said before, I just want to quit. I just want to say “o.k. whatever – let me know when it’s over.” The passion for my daughter keeps me going. When I think about the amount of advocating I have done in 7 years (and this has probably been the easy part) it’s hard to imagine that I have to keep going.

It’s easy to see how the school can “break” parents. It’s probably similar to how a wild horse feels that has been forced into domestication. They fight back but eventually they “break.”

I think this happens to more families than not. They get “tamed”. They quit. It’s easier to just go
along trusting the decisions that the school makes for their child. I am so very afraid of that happening to me. I can’t picture it but I do think about what it would be like. It sounds a hell of a lot less stressful.

This is why it is so important to have a teacher who is on the “inside” to help advocate for your child, someone to go to bat for them who knows them, someone that doesn’t let you walk this walk alone, someone who is honest about the outcomes and the daily grind, someone who sees your child’s magnificence and magic and doesn’t want it stripped away.

Teachers – help parents, please! We are not the enemy – we have a long road ahead, you can be the teacher whose name we don’t remember in 5 years or the one we forever feel indebted to. Which one do you want to be?

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§ One Response to Tamed?

  • Olive davis says:

    I don’t know how many years I have felt at breaking point and I’m still at it. Carrying on for my girl. No other reason. The past two years was one day at a time. Three months to go. I hope I can get through the next three months. Honestly, reading this post the first time made me feel like my soul was ready to sob. Don’t give up, ever! Giving up won’t make it less stressful. I honestly don’t know if my daughter is getting anything out of school these days, but she gets up every morning and we take her to school. She seems to be looking forward to it and enjoying it for the most part. There is nothing left for me to fight for other than her being safe and taught something. If she is mistreated I will get it investigated and seen to.That is it for us..3 months. I have been in contact with everyone in the education system from the assistant right up to the minister of education and everyone in between , + all the advocates in the province at one point or another to make sure my girl got what she needed and was treated right, I am so tired but I will not give up. Neither will you. 🙂

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