Picking Battles

March 16, 2014 § 2 Comments

Sometimes you have to pick your battles as a special needs parents.

You have to pick battles with your kid and you have to pick battles with the school.

If you live with a child who is impulsive or does not have a filter you could honestly spend the entire day fighting with them and correcting them. I’m guilty – been there – done that. I tried every behavior plan in the book, every counter step for her step, every move I could make to be one step ahead of her and the only thing it did was create resentment. If someone can’t help it – if they truly truly can’t – there is nothing you can do. And the truth is they don’t want to be that way as much as you don’t want them to be either. In the long run the world will “punish” them enough. Home needs to be a soft place to fall. So, I let go of most battles and only try to pick the ones that really matter.

The same holds true for dealing with the school. I have learned to pick my battles. If I didn’t, nothing would ever get done and everyone would constantly walk on eggshells while working with my daughter. There are countless instances that I could have called the school out for over the past 7 years. Sometimes I think maybe I should have – but the only thing it would have done was ruined working relationships. I try to only address issues that affect my daughters happiness or impede her success in a major way.

What this comes down to as a parent is being flexible and deciding if the battle is truly a teachable moment or not.

Teachers – this advice from above should ring true for you too. All kids inherently want to be “good” no matter how awful their behavior is. Please stop and breathe, then decide if it’s a behavior worth contacting parents over. Every behavior is communication in it’s own form and should be assessed as so. When parents receive notes or phone calls from you each day stating negative things about their child the only problem they end up seeing is an inflexible teacher. Every child should be expected to follow the rules. But, if a child is trying their best and at times they just can’t , try to decide with your heart if it’s a battle you truly want to pick.

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§ 2 Responses to Picking Battles

  • Olive davis says:

    We know all about battles.lol. We know which ones to avoid too. You are right the world will punish them enough. My girl may be non-verbal but she can fight a good battle……and win. Sometimes we just let her win. She has proved that she has her own mind and knows how to used it. When it comes to the school….there are some you just have to fight….it is not a matter of choice…..for the most part everything works out for the best because we have a reasonable level headed mature principal. That is one thing I am truly greatful for.

  • Olive davis says:


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