February 26, 2014 § 4 Comments
Over the years my husband and I have gotten very good at managing stress and have a pretty healthy, pretty happy marriage.
I know one thing that has helped for us is a sort of division of labor – we both have our jobs. One of my major jobs in handling our daughters health care which is involved, as well as, her educational needs. In the beginning my husband would attend all the meeting and appointments but as our lives have grown busier I do it all alone. I’m not complaining – he handles other stuff alone. It’s just how it is.
When issues ramp up I miss his presence at team meetings and doctors appointments . It’s sometimes hard to process all that information alone and even harder to try to relay it all back to him.
As an educator who spends a lot of time sitting in IEP meetings I see mostly moms who show up and it’s mostly moms who do the talking. I will also tell you when a dad shows up and does the talking the energy in the meeting shifts somehow. Maybe it a male presence? Maybe we subconsciously think he’s more likely to be less emotional? Maybe it is because this student now has two people there advocating for them instead of one? Either way the presence of a dad at a meeting carries a lot of weight.
I urge parents to attend meetings and appointments together as much as possible. It’s hard in this day in age to schedule these things but showing that your child has the full support of the family behind them is so powerful.