February 15, 2014 § 6 Comments
Really in my heart I don’t think you could possibly understand unless you been through it. I don’t think you can possibly understand what it is like for a family to receive a major diagnosis for a child. I am talking major life changing diagnosis, all encompassing.
Whether it be medical or developmental or in my child’s case, both, it rocks your world.
The old poem of “Welcome To Holland” becomes your reality. How did I get here?
Educators, early intervention providers, therapist, family members – judge – yup they do – they watch to see how you handle it – THEY decide if your being reasonable. They begin to tell you all the things you should be doing – and you try ….. Until … There are simply no more hours left in the day, until every daily activity becomes an act of some form of therapy. That’s when many of us sort it out that no one therapist knows what every other therapist is telling you to do and that no one could ever keep up with the expectations. If you’ve had an early involved diagnosis you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Then our kids go to school, we are told we will have to fight, we are unsure what for but we know our mama bear selves must prepare. And then it begins….
All over again with the judging, therapies, “homework” and trying to do what’s best ….. And we try and we try…. And it’s exhausting
It affects every family member.
At school what the staff doesn’t realize is that although your kid is only in preschool you’ve already been through the ringer and so has your child. We walk through the preschool doors after our early intervention testing not as excited new parents but already anticipating the judgement, the fight and being told that someone else knows best for our child.
I suppose I sound bitter – I’m not, well maybe a little. The truth, the bottom line for this post is for educators and therapist to remember that when dealing with involved diagnosis and parents who have been around the block before their child enters preschool – you might want to think about putting on a different pair of lenses and realize that we are approaching from a different point before we even arrive.
The worst part is those who are judging now reading this – go ahead – I’m used to it – but really you will never understand what it is like to educate a child with involved needs until you’ve done it. Oh and yes need I not forget the blessings that come with all this but that my friend is another post all in itself.